RIO'S March E-Zine
GENRE MASHUPS and SELLING STUFF
With guest editor - Alexis Kelly!
And regular editor - Kim Firmston
And regular editor - Kim Firmston
Mako's World!
The day starts off just as any other day. Nobashi-senpai walks to school looking as charmed as always. He walks into the school and heads to class as the bell rings. For the first few hours everything is normal. But as lunch was about to start Nobashi-senpai’s best friend Yoko-chan suddenly drops dead! Nurse-chan rushes in and announces the death as caused by an unknown disease! She announces it as very contagious and puts the school on lockdown. Nobashi-senpai soon goes into a panic! He just lost his best friend. He runs out of the class and cries near a window with the dramatic view of a cherry blossom tree in bloom aside him. To be continued on the next episode of:
Mako’s World! March 8.
Mako’s World! March 8.
A Picture Story by Pencil Person
Davin and Michelle by RIO's Central CPL Pod
Davin and Michelle had been partners for 10 years.
Davin had gotten Michelle into the police force, and now they were both rogue and fighting for their lives.
They both knew going rogue was going to be tough. But they believed in each other.
It took them both an hour to complete their unfinished business
Upon finishing, they left the area before the police even found the mess they had created. No one would ever know.
But really? Did anyone see them?
No. No one did.
Nor will anyone ever.
Michelle pulled out her guns and turned toward Davin. “We can do this. We can survive!” she turned and walked off. “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
Davin nodded, he held his knife prepared for what was to come.
Slowly and slowly he began to cut straight through his skin, just to scare a random man out on the street, who was watching him through the window.
But the pain was too much - he stopped after a few seconds, gasping. The smug look from the man was almost too much to bear. His plan was completely backfiring!
He lay on the floor, didn’t move for almost a minute. He was thinking.
He flipped onto his back and groaned No ideas were coming to him.
“I just want her to have fun,” he said.
Davin stood up and walked to his room, he’d think of something later. After a nap.
In his bed he began to dream.
The boy and girl ran through the forest, seemingly playing tag. But were they?
No, they weren’t. They were being chased, and they needed to run faster and further away from the danger.
Davin stopped to breathe, but was grabbed by Michelle and forced forward.
“Stop it! You’re choking me!” Davin gasped for air every chance he could.
Michelle laughed. “You deserve this!”
Davin howled and pulled out his guns. “You can’t do this to me, Michelle. I will stop you!”
Michelle couldn’t stop herself, her cyborg nature kicked in and she stabs him as tears run down her cheeks.
“Stop! Stop running! Why won’t you marry me??” Davin didn’t stop to explain why to the creepy, but seriously hot, Michelle.
“Why won’t you talk to me!?” Michelle cried as she ran after Davin through the alleyway.
“Because I know the truth!” Davin yelled back to Michelle, “You are really a cyborg!”
Michelle was in shock she was found out. She couldn’t lie to him anymore, “yes…” she said with a sigh, “I am…”
Michelle knew exactly what she said and she had no regrets. She loved him and that was enough.
Even if he could never love her back, she would guard him and help him as best as she could. And if any got too close… watch out. Michelle could be very dangerous.
But did she feel the same towards him?
Michelle runs, trying not to fall as she is chased by Davin as he wields a large knife.
The knife could cut anything from the skin on one’s body through a tree.
But weapons were nothing compared to agility. The knife was obnoxiously slow - a major disadvantage in any real battle. Davin cursed.
However, he must win. He couldn’t afford the consequence of losing. He must survive. He plunged forward.
And promptly fell on his face.
He tasted mud in his mouth and got back up.
“You’ll regret this” said Davin as he rode off into the sunset.
Davin woke up in a tangle of damp sheets. He could smell gas and hear ticking.
Davin jumped outside the window just as the building blew up in flames.
Just outside, Michelle waited for him, a gun in her hand. “I don’t know how to shoot,” she sighed, then shoved it at him, “here.”
He took it from her and said “Here. I’ll show you. You need to be able to protect yourself.”
“I can protect myself just fine.” Michelle huffed.
“Clearly not,” replied Davin.
Davin walked away as Michelle threw a grenade behind her.
“I call that a great job, wouldn’t you?” Michelle said.
“A job well done! We make a great team.” Davin said - high fiving Michelle as she caught up.
When the world is walking to the end, how could Michelle and Davin survive this tragedy?
They may go to their Uncle’s house to find his shot gun.
They might also meet stuff on the way.
Davin might like the stuff they meet and Michelle might blow it up.
But she might not. It was always hard to say. Davin liked to blow stuff up and Michelle liked to eat explosives and get freaky!
But what Davin liked to blow was the problem. He liked to blow balloons for children’s parties.
Celebration was his everything, it was good that the job was done. Michelle and Davin were happy with each other.
The next night Davin sat on the rooftop in his annoyingly tight costume. Michelle was late again.
She showed up 5 hours later, but with a very excited look. “Guess what happened to me? You won’t believe it! I just ate a ton of dynamite!” Michelle said with a smile.
“You must have indigestion.” Davin replied. “That’s why I call you fire cracker! You aren’t going to explode, are you?”
Michelle frowned and looked to the side, “I don’t know,” she said with uncertainty in her voice.
Michelle expected Davin to know what he was doing. She was wrong. Her eyes filled with disappointment.
The darts hit before she could say anything, Davin and Michelle melted slowly into oblivion. It was okay.
Davin had gotten Michelle into the police force, and now they were both rogue and fighting for their lives.
They both knew going rogue was going to be tough. But they believed in each other.
It took them both an hour to complete their unfinished business
Upon finishing, they left the area before the police even found the mess they had created. No one would ever know.
But really? Did anyone see them?
No. No one did.
Nor will anyone ever.
Michelle pulled out her guns and turned toward Davin. “We can do this. We can survive!” she turned and walked off. “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
Davin nodded, he held his knife prepared for what was to come.
Slowly and slowly he began to cut straight through his skin, just to scare a random man out on the street, who was watching him through the window.
But the pain was too much - he stopped after a few seconds, gasping. The smug look from the man was almost too much to bear. His plan was completely backfiring!
He lay on the floor, didn’t move for almost a minute. He was thinking.
He flipped onto his back and groaned No ideas were coming to him.
“I just want her to have fun,” he said.
Davin stood up and walked to his room, he’d think of something later. After a nap.
In his bed he began to dream.
The boy and girl ran through the forest, seemingly playing tag. But were they?
No, they weren’t. They were being chased, and they needed to run faster and further away from the danger.
Davin stopped to breathe, but was grabbed by Michelle and forced forward.
“Stop it! You’re choking me!” Davin gasped for air every chance he could.
Michelle laughed. “You deserve this!”
Davin howled and pulled out his guns. “You can’t do this to me, Michelle. I will stop you!”
Michelle couldn’t stop herself, her cyborg nature kicked in and she stabs him as tears run down her cheeks.
“Stop! Stop running! Why won’t you marry me??” Davin didn’t stop to explain why to the creepy, but seriously hot, Michelle.
“Why won’t you talk to me!?” Michelle cried as she ran after Davin through the alleyway.
“Because I know the truth!” Davin yelled back to Michelle, “You are really a cyborg!”
Michelle was in shock she was found out. She couldn’t lie to him anymore, “yes…” she said with a sigh, “I am…”
Michelle knew exactly what she said and she had no regrets. She loved him and that was enough.
Even if he could never love her back, she would guard him and help him as best as she could. And if any got too close… watch out. Michelle could be very dangerous.
But did she feel the same towards him?
Michelle runs, trying not to fall as she is chased by Davin as he wields a large knife.
The knife could cut anything from the skin on one’s body through a tree.
But weapons were nothing compared to agility. The knife was obnoxiously slow - a major disadvantage in any real battle. Davin cursed.
However, he must win. He couldn’t afford the consequence of losing. He must survive. He plunged forward.
And promptly fell on his face.
He tasted mud in his mouth and got back up.
“You’ll regret this” said Davin as he rode off into the sunset.
Davin woke up in a tangle of damp sheets. He could smell gas and hear ticking.
Davin jumped outside the window just as the building blew up in flames.
Just outside, Michelle waited for him, a gun in her hand. “I don’t know how to shoot,” she sighed, then shoved it at him, “here.”
He took it from her and said “Here. I’ll show you. You need to be able to protect yourself.”
“I can protect myself just fine.” Michelle huffed.
“Clearly not,” replied Davin.
Davin walked away as Michelle threw a grenade behind her.
“I call that a great job, wouldn’t you?” Michelle said.
“A job well done! We make a great team.” Davin said - high fiving Michelle as she caught up.
When the world is walking to the end, how could Michelle and Davin survive this tragedy?
They may go to their Uncle’s house to find his shot gun.
They might also meet stuff on the way.
Davin might like the stuff they meet and Michelle might blow it up.
But she might not. It was always hard to say. Davin liked to blow stuff up and Michelle liked to eat explosives and get freaky!
But what Davin liked to blow was the problem. He liked to blow balloons for children’s parties.
Celebration was his everything, it was good that the job was done. Michelle and Davin were happy with each other.
The next night Davin sat on the rooftop in his annoyingly tight costume. Michelle was late again.
She showed up 5 hours later, but with a very excited look. “Guess what happened to me? You won’t believe it! I just ate a ton of dynamite!” Michelle said with a smile.
“You must have indigestion.” Davin replied. “That’s why I call you fire cracker! You aren’t going to explode, are you?”
Michelle frowned and looked to the side, “I don’t know,” she said with uncertainty in her voice.
Michelle expected Davin to know what he was doing. She was wrong. Her eyes filled with disappointment.
The darts hit before she could say anything, Davin and Michelle melted slowly into oblivion. It was okay.
Sam Hester Visits Us and Talks Art http://www.thedrawingbook.com/
Genre Mash Up Short Stories
Knights and Cowboys by Peter
Joe glared at the heavily armoured knight with his hand clenching his revolver. Joe was infuriated because the knight's horse just ate his cowboy hat.
Joe was so mad he challenged the knight to a duel.
“Wait a minute this isn’t fair you have a gun I have a sword. How about a race to settle the dispute,” realized the knight.
“Ok,” agreed Joe.
The knight mounted his horse and the cowboy mounted one of those things. The knight was so outmatched that his horse left out of fear. The knight was stuck on foot. The race started and the knight was so stressed by the thought of losing that he combusted. Moments after leaving the start line, his horse came back, pawned his armour, sword, and shield making lotsa moolah.$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. The horse used his newfound cash to buy that thing from Joe. It was then that the horse avenged the knight by challenging the knight to a race. The horse got on that thing and the race started and they took off at breakneck speed. So therefore the horses and the cowboys neck broke.
Monster Cannibals and Steam Punk Robots by Delaney
“How are we supposed to win a war when we can’t stop eating our own troops?” Patrick says, wiping his mouth clean on a cloth napkin.
“Well Patrick, you consume the most monsters than anyone else.”
“Oh.”
“Where’s my oil?” Patricia yells. She rushes through the old building, searching for her black-wig haired assistant. The robot was nowhere to be seen. Patricia stormed around.
Time for battle. On one side, an army of fluffy cute monster cannibals, and on the other, an army of steampunk robots. The two sides stared each other down. Shiny metal, flashing in the fun, contrasting against neon pink, green, orange, yellow, and blue, fluffing out in all directions.
“Hey Patrick! Get on with it already!” a monster calls. A green monster at the front turns slightly.
Patricia glares.
“There can be only one. True. Patrick name-like person/thing!” Patricia screams, starting the battle for good.
To be continued.
Warlocks and Mermaids by George
The warlock rowed his tiny rowboat out into the bat. The sun was beginning to set as he tossed a lead weight tied to his keel into the water. He pulled a trident out from under his bench and begun to cast a spell. Seconds later, he had grown a temporary set of gills. He grabbed his weapon and dove into the water. His client had told him he could find the mermaids almost anywhere in the bay. So he swam deeper into the cold, murky water. As the silty bottom came into sight he saw something moving nearby. He spun around to face it as the mermaid came lunging out of the murk, teeth bared. It was easily seven feet long, with a fishy tail and a scaled humanoid torso, but had a shark like dorsal fin growing from its’ back, sharp claws, and teeth. He jabbed at it with his trident, so it spun around and disappeared back into the murk. The warlock tried to track its movement, but suddenly a second mermaid grabbed his head from behind and raked it with its claws. He gasped, swallowing water as he opened his mouth. He thrust his trident at the mermaid, but saw behind it dozens of glowing eyes of other mermaids. The warlock quickly tried to swim for the surface, having gravely underestimated the strength of his foes. As he broke the surface, the mermaids close behind him, his gills disappeared as the spell ran its course. He quickly clambered into his boat and cut the anchor line. As he looked down into the water, watching the rope tied to his boat snake down to the sea floor, he saw at least eight formerly mermaids lurking underneath his boat. He tried to row away, but they grabbed the side of his boat, leaning it into the water. It began to sink as the warlock desperately tried to fend off the monsters with his trident. Soon, his boat had sunk enough that the mermaids could reach him. One lunged towards him, but he jabbed it with his trident. From behind him, a mermaid grabbed his leg and pulled him under the water. He could see the mermaids gathering around him slowly, before they all rushed in to attack. Disarmed and unable to breathe, the mermaids began to gruesomely feed on the helpless ex-warlock.
Pirating Pirates Pirate Pirated Dark Matter on Pluto by Jamie
“Arr!” the pirated shouted as they came closer to Pluto. They were not just pirates, they were space pirates. But they were not just space pirates either, they were android space pirates.
They were stealing dark matter from a research facility on Pluto that had managed to contain it. Their boss, who wished to become the capitalist king of the universe, would pay them a hefty sum of meteor coins for retrieving it.
“Arr!” they said again.
The creator of the android pirates was stupid enough that he built them to know only one phrase, which they repeated at least a hundred times per minute.
The pirates expected that the scientists would give up the dark matter after listening to an hour of them shouting the same word over and over.
The pirates broke into their facility, used their frequency guns to prevent them from moving, and waited until they conceded their dark matter.
The annoyed, now near-deaf scientists screamed forever as the android pirates left their base on Pluto.
They would be getting lots of meteor coins, but all they could say in celebration was that same single word.
“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
They all wished their creator had been better. All they wanted was to escape the pirate cliche and someday become zombies.
-Ze End-
Lizards by Kim
After the age of humans, Lizards ruled the world! They started a monarchical society with a King, a Queen, and a bearded dragon as a jester. The jester sucked.
The grand magic wizard decided one day to create a monster after the queen - a rather plump gecko - grew concerned about border security, after a marauding band of anole attacked riding Komodo Dragons. They attacked the castle and destroyed the cricket stores. She went to her lab with an artifact, a shield used when humans ruled the world. She had heard they battled monsters and she figured that she could get a monster’s DNA from the scale.
Mixing water, crushed salamanders (who likes those amphibians anyway), and peanut butter she added the scale and whispered the magic words “salamanders, they exist.” Grape smoke and blackberry steam filled the room and out popped a large rotund purple dinosaur with green spots and a yellow pelly. “Hi! Want to play? Let’s be friends!”
“Ahh! The horror,” the wizard yelled, running from the room.
The dinosaur waddled out of the room hugging all the Lizards it found and mostly crushing them. Then the anole attacked. The dinosaur waddled outside waving his tiny arms.
“Hi, I’m Barney,” he sang.
“You’re what?” the Anole Lord asked completely confused.
“I’m a friend! I’m your friend!”
The Anole Lord started to sob, “I’ve always wanted a friend.”
Then Barney led all the anole’s in a sing along while the Komodo Dragons ate the carrion that Barney had left behind.
Finally the sing along ended.
Barney gave everyone a giant hug killing the rest of them. - Then he took over the world, ruling it all.
Dragons by Alexis
Every time I wake up, the magic energy of the city mingles with my own and becomes apparent again. The feeling never gets old. It makes me feel powerful. The thing about this city though, is that although magic is just a part of regular life, it isn’t as fun as it’s made out to be. It’s a disease; airborne. Anyone who enters the city becomes a ticking time bomb. It affects everyone differently in day-to-day life, but it always kills. You can almost taste the metal of your blood as it slowly dwindles, as if it invisibly escapes through your mouth and the magic replaces it. Sometimes the old dragon visits. We don’t have individual funerals anymore. It takes up too much time. So the old dragon visits to pay his condolences to those who have passed since the last visit. Magic is beautiful and colourful, and it’s used daily as if it isn’t our demise. But in our city, everyone dies. There’s no way to stop that bittersweet feeling of magic coursing through you. It’s worse when you leave the city, kills faster. So we live in the city swirling the skies colour and making clouds into fun shapes. It makes life a little more tolerable, at least while it lasts.
Joe glared at the heavily armoured knight with his hand clenching his revolver. Joe was infuriated because the knight's horse just ate his cowboy hat.
Joe was so mad he challenged the knight to a duel.
“Wait a minute this isn’t fair you have a gun I have a sword. How about a race to settle the dispute,” realized the knight.
“Ok,” agreed Joe.
The knight mounted his horse and the cowboy mounted one of those things. The knight was so outmatched that his horse left out of fear. The knight was stuck on foot. The race started and the knight was so stressed by the thought of losing that he combusted. Moments after leaving the start line, his horse came back, pawned his armour, sword, and shield making lotsa moolah.$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. The horse used his newfound cash to buy that thing from Joe. It was then that the horse avenged the knight by challenging the knight to a race. The horse got on that thing and the race started and they took off at breakneck speed. So therefore the horses and the cowboys neck broke.
Monster Cannibals and Steam Punk Robots by Delaney
“How are we supposed to win a war when we can’t stop eating our own troops?” Patrick says, wiping his mouth clean on a cloth napkin.
“Well Patrick, you consume the most monsters than anyone else.”
“Oh.”
“Where’s my oil?” Patricia yells. She rushes through the old building, searching for her black-wig haired assistant. The robot was nowhere to be seen. Patricia stormed around.
Time for battle. On one side, an army of fluffy cute monster cannibals, and on the other, an army of steampunk robots. The two sides stared each other down. Shiny metal, flashing in the fun, contrasting against neon pink, green, orange, yellow, and blue, fluffing out in all directions.
“Hey Patrick! Get on with it already!” a monster calls. A green monster at the front turns slightly.
Patricia glares.
“There can be only one. True. Patrick name-like person/thing!” Patricia screams, starting the battle for good.
To be continued.
Warlocks and Mermaids by George
The warlock rowed his tiny rowboat out into the bat. The sun was beginning to set as he tossed a lead weight tied to his keel into the water. He pulled a trident out from under his bench and begun to cast a spell. Seconds later, he had grown a temporary set of gills. He grabbed his weapon and dove into the water. His client had told him he could find the mermaids almost anywhere in the bay. So he swam deeper into the cold, murky water. As the silty bottom came into sight he saw something moving nearby. He spun around to face it as the mermaid came lunging out of the murk, teeth bared. It was easily seven feet long, with a fishy tail and a scaled humanoid torso, but had a shark like dorsal fin growing from its’ back, sharp claws, and teeth. He jabbed at it with his trident, so it spun around and disappeared back into the murk. The warlock tried to track its movement, but suddenly a second mermaid grabbed his head from behind and raked it with its claws. He gasped, swallowing water as he opened his mouth. He thrust his trident at the mermaid, but saw behind it dozens of glowing eyes of other mermaids. The warlock quickly tried to swim for the surface, having gravely underestimated the strength of his foes. As he broke the surface, the mermaids close behind him, his gills disappeared as the spell ran its course. He quickly clambered into his boat and cut the anchor line. As he looked down into the water, watching the rope tied to his boat snake down to the sea floor, he saw at least eight formerly mermaids lurking underneath his boat. He tried to row away, but they grabbed the side of his boat, leaning it into the water. It began to sink as the warlock desperately tried to fend off the monsters with his trident. Soon, his boat had sunk enough that the mermaids could reach him. One lunged towards him, but he jabbed it with his trident. From behind him, a mermaid grabbed his leg and pulled him under the water. He could see the mermaids gathering around him slowly, before they all rushed in to attack. Disarmed and unable to breathe, the mermaids began to gruesomely feed on the helpless ex-warlock.
Pirating Pirates Pirate Pirated Dark Matter on Pluto by Jamie
“Arr!” the pirated shouted as they came closer to Pluto. They were not just pirates, they were space pirates. But they were not just space pirates either, they were android space pirates.
They were stealing dark matter from a research facility on Pluto that had managed to contain it. Their boss, who wished to become the capitalist king of the universe, would pay them a hefty sum of meteor coins for retrieving it.
“Arr!” they said again.
The creator of the android pirates was stupid enough that he built them to know only one phrase, which they repeated at least a hundred times per minute.
The pirates expected that the scientists would give up the dark matter after listening to an hour of them shouting the same word over and over.
The pirates broke into their facility, used their frequency guns to prevent them from moving, and waited until they conceded their dark matter.
The annoyed, now near-deaf scientists screamed forever as the android pirates left their base on Pluto.
They would be getting lots of meteor coins, but all they could say in celebration was that same single word.
“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
They all wished their creator had been better. All they wanted was to escape the pirate cliche and someday become zombies.
-Ze End-
Lizards by Kim
After the age of humans, Lizards ruled the world! They started a monarchical society with a King, a Queen, and a bearded dragon as a jester. The jester sucked.
The grand magic wizard decided one day to create a monster after the queen - a rather plump gecko - grew concerned about border security, after a marauding band of anole attacked riding Komodo Dragons. They attacked the castle and destroyed the cricket stores. She went to her lab with an artifact, a shield used when humans ruled the world. She had heard they battled monsters and she figured that she could get a monster’s DNA from the scale.
Mixing water, crushed salamanders (who likes those amphibians anyway), and peanut butter she added the scale and whispered the magic words “salamanders, they exist.” Grape smoke and blackberry steam filled the room and out popped a large rotund purple dinosaur with green spots and a yellow pelly. “Hi! Want to play? Let’s be friends!”
“Ahh! The horror,” the wizard yelled, running from the room.
The dinosaur waddled out of the room hugging all the Lizards it found and mostly crushing them. Then the anole attacked. The dinosaur waddled outside waving his tiny arms.
“Hi, I’m Barney,” he sang.
“You’re what?” the Anole Lord asked completely confused.
“I’m a friend! I’m your friend!”
The Anole Lord started to sob, “I’ve always wanted a friend.”
Then Barney led all the anole’s in a sing along while the Komodo Dragons ate the carrion that Barney had left behind.
Finally the sing along ended.
Barney gave everyone a giant hug killing the rest of them. - Then he took over the world, ruling it all.
Dragons by Alexis
Every time I wake up, the magic energy of the city mingles with my own and becomes apparent again. The feeling never gets old. It makes me feel powerful. The thing about this city though, is that although magic is just a part of regular life, it isn’t as fun as it’s made out to be. It’s a disease; airborne. Anyone who enters the city becomes a ticking time bomb. It affects everyone differently in day-to-day life, but it always kills. You can almost taste the metal of your blood as it slowly dwindles, as if it invisibly escapes through your mouth and the magic replaces it. Sometimes the old dragon visits. We don’t have individual funerals anymore. It takes up too much time. So the old dragon visits to pay his condolences to those who have passed since the last visit. Magic is beautiful and colourful, and it’s used daily as if it isn’t our demise. But in our city, everyone dies. There’s no way to stop that bittersweet feeling of magic coursing through you. It’s worse when you leave the city, kills faster. So we live in the city swirling the skies colour and making clouds into fun shapes. It makes life a little more tolerable, at least while it lasts.
Feelings by Eli Smart
My sadness feels like a depressed turtle
My anger tastes like a ghost pepper
My fear sounds like a killer panda bear.
My vexation looks like a moldy moose
My joy smells like Lady Speed Stick
My anger tastes like a ghost pepper
My fear sounds like a killer panda bear.
My vexation looks like a moldy moose
My joy smells like Lady Speed Stick
Vegan Watch by Eli and Alexis
Have you ever wanted to began but don't have the will power? Get the vegan watch!
WHAT DOES THE VEGAN WATCH DO?
When you put on the watch you turn vegan!
WHAT IF I EAT AN ANIMAL BY ACCIDENT?
Well - then you become a cat.
WHY?
And then when you cannibalize a cat - you become human.
BUT THEN I'M BACK WHERE I STARTED!
Then you need a new watch!
WOW!
The VEGAN WATCH is available for the low low price of your entire life savings. And remember- we're watching you!
WHAT DOES THE VEGAN WATCH DO?
When you put on the watch you turn vegan!
WHAT IF I EAT AN ANIMAL BY ACCIDENT?
Well - then you become a cat.
WHY?
And then when you cannibalize a cat - you become human.
BUT THEN I'M BACK WHERE I STARTED!
Then you need a new watch!
WOW!
The VEGAN WATCH is available for the low low price of your entire life savings. And remember- we're watching you!
Ostrich Feather Pillow by Sophie and Willow
Have you ever had trouble sleeping? Have you ever woken up with your neck in pain? Have you ever woken up with a headache? Then you need the OFP an Ostrich Feather Pillow. It cures headaches and neck pain. Buy it now or buy it later but please buy it - we're broke.